Could your child have sensory processing issues?
Elaine’s story
I still recall vividly one of my lowest parenting moments ( my LPM’s), which was on a flight to New Zealand in 1997 when Sam was around 18 months. He’d just started to walk, and with his new-found freedom he decided to explore the cabin. He hadn’t got far before he let out an earth-shattering scream. We found him standing motionless in front of a Sikh gentleman who was wearing a bright yellow turban. The man was smiling blankly at Sam, while Sam was screaming back at him as if his life depended on it.
Gathering Sam up into my arms, I apologised profusely to the gentleman.
‘I’m so sorry, I think my son must have got a fright when he spotted your turban. He’s never seen one up close before. I’m sorry if we caused you any embarrassment.’
Thankfully, he took it in good humour. Walking back to our seat, wishing the ground would swallow me up, I consoled myself with the thought that the situation wasn’t dissimilar to a young child seeing Father Christmas for the first time; that jolly old man with rosy cheeks, a big tummy, and a long beard can be, quite frankly, terrifying!
It was however a few years later, that I realised this intense reaction to the man wearing a turban, was due to his brain’s inability to correctly process sensory information – sights, sounds, touch, smell, taste, and so on. Some of this information seems to get ‘stuck’, and parts of the brain do not get the information they need to organise these stimuli into meaningful messages. This is called Sensory Integration Dysfunction (SID), or you may hear it referred to as Sensory Processing Disorder ( SPD). Even if your child doesn’t have a sensory disorder, they may have a very sensitive temperament. Sensitive children feel emotions and experience stimuli through all their senses to a much higher degree than others. This means that they can be overwhelmed in shopping malls and classrooms, and at parties, swimming pools and playgrounds.
Children with SPD complain that their socks are unbearably scratchy or that the seams hurt their toes. Labels need to be cut out of clothes, and if they had their own way, they would go to nursery or school in their cosiest PJ’s with elasticated waistbands.
They can detect if the ketchup you’ve given them is not the normal Heinz brand and one brand of yoghurt tastes disgusting compared to another.
They really will be able to smell things that you cannot. So, when they complain about your morning breath, whilst you may feel very offended, this is a very real thing, and to them your breath really does smell funky.
Constant stimulation can be exhausting and overwhelming and can lead to inappropriate behaviour.
When Sam was a toddler birthday parties became a nightmare. While all the other children were able to sit and listen to the party entertainer, Sam would be running around doing his own thing. At one party Sam decided he was too hot, so without warning he stripped off his clothes and ran around naked! I was mortified. The other children found it hilarious, and Sam loved the attention, but I sensed the other parents looking on disapprovingly. On reflection, they may have pitied me.
At playgroups, the other children would love getting stuck into messy play with sand and mud and finger paints, but Sam would avoid these activities and wander off to do something else. If he did get in the sandpit, it would be to throw sand at another child or snatch their bucket from them.
He hated having different foods together on his plate and would complain vociferously when foods touched. Chips and ketchup couldn’t be too close. Potatoes and peas were to be kept apart (no mean feat, with the peas rolling around on the dish).
Hair washing and nail cutting became stressful experiences, and with the screams he emitted at bath time our neighbours would be forgiven for thinking we were sticking hot needles in his eyes. He refused to wear a coat or hat or gloves, electing instead to wear shorts even in arctic condition. We began to get disapproving looks – and I’m sure it seemed like I was neglecting my child – but I simply could not make Sam wear his coat. It was easier to make him realise the consequences of his actions for himself than go into battle about this.
Does any of this sound familiar?
What is SPD?
There are two types of sensory challenges, and many kids have both. The most common type is oversensitivity, which is what Sam had. He would become easily overwhelmed/ overloaded by the information that come in through his senses. So, he would avoid sensations that he could not tolerate. This is called sensory avoidance.
The other type of sensory challenge is undersensitivity. With this type, children don’t get enough input from the environment, so, they seek more sensory stimulation. This can result in them engaging in rough play, touching people, getting too close to others, and perhaps chewing on their clothes or pen tops, to name but a few examples. They become sensory seekers. If your child loves the fast roller coaster rides at amusement parks, they are sensory seekers.
When we think of sensory input, we think of having five senses: sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. These are some common examples of things kids seek and avoid from those senses, and our Sam certainly exhibited oversensitivity in all these areas:
Sight: Visual patterns, certain colours or shapes, moving or spinning objects, and bright objects or light.
Smell: Specific smells. Some kids like to smell everything, while some kids are able to detect — and object to — smells that other people don’t notice.
Hearing: Loud or unexpected sounds like fire alarms or blenders, singing, repetitive or specific types of noises (like finger snapping or clapping).
Taste: Specific tastes (like spicy, sour, bitter, or minty) and textures (like crunchy, chewy, or mushy), chewing or sucking on non-food objects (like shirt sleeves or collars).
Touch: Touch from other people, touching and fiddling with objects, tight or soft clothing, and certain textures or surfaces.
If you recognise some of these scenarios, you may have a highly sensitive, sensory child, and so you need to be aware of stimulation levels and do what you can to limit them.
What can I do to help my child?
Here are some top tips if you think your child may be suffering from sensory integration dysfunction:
1. Seek awareness and understanding. I highly recommend a read of Carol Stock Kranowitz’s book, The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder, 2005
2. You may want to explore more and seek an assessment from an Occupational Therapist (OT) who is a sensory specialist. If your child has SID, this can be followed by some intensive OT sessions. The OT can then provide you with strategies you can implement at home, to provide your child with a sensory diet.
3. Create a sensory diet involving a tailored plan of physical activities e.g. jumping jacks, hot dog rolls, (rolling your child in a duvet, rolling a therapy ball on their back as they are lying down, pretending you are putting on the mayo and ketchup), heading to the local park to climb ladders, go down slides and use the spinner/merry go-round.
4. Be aware of environments with high stimulation levels and do what you can to limit them. This may mean giving your child noise-cancelling headphones for fireworks night or sometimes it may mean taking your child away from a birthday party environment that is a sensory overload for them.
5. These children will need lots of emotion coaching to help them put words to their big feelings e.g.
“You pick up on things, that other people don’t seem to notice. You’re very aware of differences in light, taste and noise.”
“Places like this are really challenging for you. I can see you feel things very deeply and the noise really bothers you. I wonder if it feels like it’s hurting your ears?”
“You are very aware and are in touch with everything around you.”
“You’ll make a great chef, artist, teacher or musician.”
6. Be Proactive and not Reactive – set up for success. So, for example if your child is sensitive to touch, spend some time going through their wardrobe and putting aside clothes that they find super scratchy, and ensuring all the socks in their drawer are ones that are comfortable and seam free.
7. Accept the child you have. Children need nurturing like plants- in order to get the most out of your plants you have to understand what conditions work best for them, what they need in order to flourish. If we don’t understand our children, don’t accommodate their temperaments, and we just wish that they were different, it’s a bit like wishing we were growing a rose instead of a tropical hibiscus. They’re both beautiful flowers but they need different conditions in which to thrive. If we’re going to be able to truly nourish our children we need to understand what will make them grow. When you adapt to your child’s temperament, and take time to understand their physical and emotional needs, it’s not pandering or coddling them, but it’s giving them what they need to help them bloom.
8. Fill up your toolkit with some key positive parenting skills. As a parenting coach, I am but one part of the jigsaw puzzle, but a significant part, because if you have a parenting toolkit of skills, delivered by someone who knows first- hand the world of neuro diversity, and has proof that these skills can work on the most challenging atypical child, then the future is bright and full of hope.
Find out more by reading ‘My Child’s Different’ by Elaine Halligan, how positive parenting can unlock potential in children with ADHD and dyslexia.
If you would like bespoke parent coaching, book a discovery call today with Elaine, and together we can explore if I am the right person to support you in changing your parenting story.