Episode 28 - Elizabeth Fletcher
Parenting Apart in Lockdown
Right now every couple relationship is being stress-tested. Being forced into close proximity with your other half 24/7 and with other possible anxieties around work and finances and child care and education and concerns about your own and others’ health may mean that cracks are developing. If your relationship was already under strain before the arrival of this coronavirus it may have reached breaking point now. If you’re listening to this particular episode presumably you have an interest in helping children deal with the breakdown of a relationship, whether that is something that has already happened or is imminent.
My guest today can help with that. She is Elizabeth Fletcher, a director of Family Law in Partnership and she has a lot of experience working with individuals whose relationship with their partner has broken down and all the emotional upheaval that brings with it for the adult and the children of the relationship. She is very familiar with the problems that come with the end of a relationship where children are involved and guides people through this difficult time with empathy and integrity.
She is also a mum to two young children herself.
Listen to this episode with Liz if your relationship has reached the end of its road or you are already separated or divorced from your partner and you want to learn:
How to manage the stress of relationship breakdown when it is compounded by the restrictions of lockdown and possibly being still under the same roof as your estranged partner
How to manage communication with your partner. Top tip: verbal communication is often more nuanced than the written word
What to do if there is physical or other abuse in a relationship, especially if you are living with an abusive partner (for information about reporting abuse click here)
What help to get if you are subject to coercive control by a partner
What remedies are available under the legal system and through other support agencies to help with these situations
About 7 ways to support your children through the trauma of family break up: (see here for details of the Parenting after Parting 3 part workshop developed by TPP in partnership with FLiP –the next series commences on 2nd July)
Understand and get support for your own emotional needs
Understand your children’s needs and reactions at different stages of development
Empathise and provide a safe space for children to express their emotions
Reassure the children that the end of the relationship was nothing to do with them and that neither parent will ever stop loving them
Support the children to have a positive relationship with both parents
Provide the children with many messages that they are valued
Provide safety and support at home
About the basic rules for contact during lockdown, and otherwise, and what happens if these rules are infringed
How mediation can help (even during lockdown) when parents are having trouble communicating and finding solutions to parenting arrangements
What to do when communication is really problematic and how to make use of technologies like Our Family Wizard https://www.ourfamilywizard.co.uk
How to manage differing points of view about how to deal with the lifting of restrictions
What the rules are on moving with a child or taking a child out of jurisdiction and what recourse parents have if they disagree with their partner’s position on travel.
And as usual we finish with our SUMs. Liz shares with us a Surprising Uplifting Moment, one good thing coming out of this crisis, concerning her daughter’s involvement in an online disco party.
Links:
Website: www.flip.co.uk
Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/company/family-law-in-partnership/ see their post about kindness in divorce
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/familylawinpartnership
Twitter: https://twitter.com/FLiPLtd
Podcast: https://www.flip.co.uk/news-resources/our-podcasts-and-videos/
Free helpline on children and parenting law and domestic abuse https://www.flip.co.uk/free-children-and-parenting-law-domestic-abuse-advice-line/
Individual counselling support for those going through separation