Is your family your lasting legacy?

Elaine’s Family

What’s your lasting legacy?

Over the past 10 days, since Queen Elizabeth II’s death, there’s been much discussion about the legacy she has left and in turn you may have found yourself thinking of your own legacy and what stamp are you putting on the future or making to future generations. People want to leave a legacy because they want to feel that their life mattered and had value.

As a mum, wife, daughter, sister, parenting coach, author and speaker, I do feel as if my life has value and purpose.

So my question to you is, how do you discover your purpose?

To discover your purpose, start with the end in mind. 

If at the end of the day you discover that being a parent is one of the most important and valuable roles you will ever play in your life, then the chances are your family are your lasting legacy.

‘Starting with the end in mind ‘comes from management guru Stephen Covey, the author of  ‘Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ and he suggests we can only start to use our parenting skills when we are clear about the end goal.

I’m going to ask you to start by looking at all the qualities you want to bring out in your children.

 I want you to imagine a time in the future when your child’s a young adult. They come back to visit you in the family home. They’ll definitely be driving their electric car by then.

As they walk towards you, I want you to imagine what you see in them. What qualities and character traits do they have?

Are they confident, capable, resilient, courageous, empathetic, kindly, generous,  determined, ethically minded, do they have integrity, are they hard-working …the list is endless.

Interestingly, when researchers ask parents about what qualities they care most deeply about, most say it’s about raising caring and empathetic children, and most say these are more important than academic or career achievements.

However, most children seem to be getting a different message, and report parents are determined for them to be successful and get into the right school or University. So What does that mean?

It means there is a disconnect between what our children are hearing and what we are saying.

 So just think about that, because what you value most, is what your children will learn is important to you.

And finally, when I do this exercise with my clients and I ask them what they want for their children, most say they want their kids to be happy, and I guess that would be your answer too?

The issue is happiness is state of being or state of mind, not a quality and I know most tweens/teens would say you can make me happy tomorrow by buying me the latest I-phone 14!

Happiness fluctuates. We can't be happy all the time and aiming for that is a recipe for dissatisfaction.

So, it’s not your role to make your children happy, but to ensure they absorb the qualities that give them that character education.

In following that path, then we can all start to discover our purpose if it’s not clear already, and one way to assist you is to do my Harmony at Home course.

Dedicating time to work on your parenting may be the greatest investment you ever make, and you’ll create that lasting legacy.

The Harmony at Home online course also includes live group coaching, and given my new client list is now closed till Jan 2023, this is a great opportunity to work with me, and learn how to apply the parenting skills to ensure you raise confident, competent and contented children, because when children are nurtured, they shine both at home and at school.

Now that’s a legacy worth leaving.